Consent: It Starts With A Question

Consent is such an interesting discussion that we seem to constantly have. I think there is a line in which consent becomes blurred, which reminds me about the controversy surrounding the sound ‘Blurred Lines’ by Robin Thicke, Pharrell and T.I. I think in a lot of people’s minds they believe they know when someone has given them consent. In the heat of the moment I think it is very common to not explicitly ask, “Am I allowed?” Whether that being so common is right or wrong, is another topic to be discussed. One of my friends told me how she thinks that consent manifests into different forms dependent on the relationship you have with the person. She basically told me how she believes that when random strangers are hooking up, both parties just continue until one says, “no”, or “stop”. Then, alternatively she feels that in a relationship it is more common for both parties to either discuss what each other is comfortable with before actually getting in bed with each other, or else asking while in bed. I guess it all depends on experience. For some people they truly, and genuinely believe they know their partner, and believe they know when there is something wrong, whether their partner is sad, angry, happy or whatnot, but something I unfortunately had to be told was that we can’t actually be certain what another person is thinking. We can only try to pattern the ways in which a person acts in certain moments, but unless someone explicitly tells us what is on their mind, we can only assume that what we believe to know is the actual reality. I think we live in a way in which we see a romance us knowing what another person is thinking, but unless we have some true form of mind reading, we can never be too sure. One day a person may continue what they are doing in bed because they believe the way the person is acting is the same way when they are giving implicit consent, but the only trouble with that is one day that person could be wrong, and that one day can override all the other times they were correct, and that’s the biggest worry of not being explicitly telling another person what you want or don’t want.blurred-lines1

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