Too Cool For School[And Other Institutions]

There is a particular moment in elementary that really stuck to me throughout the years. I was in the library with a male friend of mine, at the time anyway, and another friend who was female. My male friend was making some sort of joke about poking me on my breasts. Something so juvenile that I was irritated, and then he actually did what he had previously only joked about, he poked me on one of my boobs with his pen. I remember being so furious and just not speaking with him, then going home and making a Facebook post basically calling him out and airing out what he had done to me, calling him a jerk and whatever else my brain could conjure up at that age of mine. Then, I took a nap. After waking up, I had all these notifications, one from the female friend who was with me when the event occurred, and the other more notable one from another male friend I had. My female friend basically was telling me how I was overreacting and how the incident was just a joke. Right on the other hand, this other male friend of mine was more on the concerned side and asked me to message him and tell him what had occurred. It was such a stark contrast, because my female friend who I’d expect to relate to me more based off the fact that she was female as well, had no empathy for me. Yet, this male friend of mine had mustered up more care and emotion for me than her. Come to realize, she was a “Cool Girl”, she cared about being “one of the guys”. Yet, the males around us still did not care about her the way she cared about them. For some reason, though, they cared about me more than I cared about them. I think to some extent, being a “Cool Girl” becomes about less about the title, and more about fitting into environments which are hard to break through. The title is an end accomplishment to some, but also it is a point of stating the fact that one is “different”, or “unique”, which ultimately comes at an unfortunate cost.

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