I have a great inclination to trust women and I have a higher standard for how considerate and caring they can be. I don’t know if this is the result of rape culture or the experiences that I have had or other people have had at parties or clubs, but I can not help but consider men to be predatory. It’s a thought that is always in the back of my mind whenever I am with men. I simply do not inherently trust them, and it is usually a novelty for me to automatically feel comfortable.
This feeling towards men is something that Sheila also seems to have, especially in discussing her relationship with Israel. But to her, all the things that I consider to be the worst case scenario, she actually wants to happen. She fantasizes about Israel treating her as if she were nothing more than prey, and I can’t help but consider what was said about the “Cool Girl,” because the conditions of the cool girl only play a part in the greater intimidation of men in general. There is a fear that you won’t be accepted, or that you’ll be treated differently if you embrace and defend your gender. For these reasons it is difficult for me to buy into that culture, thus I have a limited amount of guy friends and I am unapologetically particularly about the ones I do. My heart may be jello but only for the men I decide to temporarily put there.